Ephesians 5:25-27

As a husband, I feel like you're supposed to have chapter five of Ephesians pretty well figured out. It's the "marriage chapter", you know? In fact, it was the central passage for the message at my wedding, seven months ago.

But, I think I missed one of the biggest points Paul makes to husbands.

The chapter starts off by imploring us to imitate God: "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Paul fleshes this out by differentiating between darkness and Light, foolish and Wise, secrecy and Truthfulness.

Then he continues by explaining that reverence for Christ is submission to one another. That's the starting point for his mini-sermon on marriage in verses 22-33. It is out of reverence for Christ (not because of any inferiority or lesser value) that wives are to submit to their husbands as they do to Christ. Likewise, it is out of reverence for Christ that husbands are to give themselves up for their wives and love them like their own body, as Christ loved and gave Himself up for the church.

But there was something I have always been confused about in Paul's nine-verse counsel to husbands. Verses 25-27: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."

I read this and wondered, "How in the world am I supposed to present Sam to God as radiant, holy, and blameless?" I just took it to mean that I have a huge role in encouraging her, rebuking her, and training her so that God can use me to refine her into a better picture of His Image. Ok. This is true, but it isn't much different from the command given to all believers in 2 Timothy 4:2.

As I was reading this passage again last weekend, I realized that is is not my primary role to sanctify Sam (to make her holy and blameless) because that is Christ's alone to do. Sure, He can use me to encourage and rebuke her and lead her, but He alone is the one who can present her to God as pure and radiant.

So, then, what is this passage saying? It's pretty simple. My role in marriage is intended to be a replica (what a poor job I do) of Christ's role in the church. Christ presented the church to Himself as blameless. In the same way, I am to present Sam to myself as blameless. I have never done anything good enough for Christ to see me as pure, but He sees me as pure. It doesn't matter what Sam does or doesn't do, I am to present her to myself as without stain or blemish, but holy and blameless. I think husbands imitating Christ in this way makes marriages so much stronger, deeper, and loving and a more accurate picture of Christ's relationship to us-- which is what marriage is designed to be.

Once again, that is not to say I don't have the role of leading her spiritually, rebuking her sin, and encouraging her in triumphs. Christ also lead, encouraged, and rebuked His disciples.

But He always saw them as pure and radiant-- not because of how they lived, but because His blood made them so.